Thursday, January 29, 2009

I can't stop GIGGLING!!! HELP!!!

Ok so remember yesterday when i posted about how great my class was and how wonderful everything was? Cuz, you know I get to go to the Burghley house for creative writing. (Eeeh! I smile just writing that!) Well, what i didn't tell you, because I couldn't write it while I was still laughing so hard about it, was that I was the WORST student EVER, yesterday. The worst.

Not kidding. Had I been in 3rd grade my name would've been on the blackboard--with like 5 checks behind it too. It was only through the great mercy of the teacher that i wasn't actually kicked out of the class altogether. Well, that and the fact i'm paying for school now! LOL!

So what could I have done that was so bad you ask? Muhaha! I couldn't stop laughing. I mean it. It was awful! I disrupted the whole class! You have no idea! I even apologized profusely and still I laughed on. LOL! (Who am i kidding? I'm laughing now as I write this! LOLOLOL!)

Anyway, our assignment was to bring in newspaper headlines "that struck our fancy." We didn't know at the time, but the headline we brought in we had to give to our neighbors. So the lady next to me hands me this headline and I was supposed to guess what the story was about. And then i was supposed to write my guts instincts and emotions down on this paper. Which would've been great and all except the headline was:

"He Had Toilet Paper Stuck All Over His Head."

No lie. I'm not kidding. I'm not even exaggerating. That is EXACTLY what the headline read. Well, as i'm sure you've guessed by now, I burst into laughter. Hard, loud, crazed laughter.... for like ten minutes. Which the teacher tried to drown out with things like,

"Now class, I want you to see that headline and write down what you think the story is talking about. What is your gut instinct when you see that headline? Is it fear? Is it curiosity? Is it anger? Really delve in there and think what it is that could've happened to make such a headline."

I tried to be good, honest. I tried to hold it in, but I just kept thinking of these stupid scenarios and why some man would have toilet paper stuck to his head. And when i wasn't thinking of those, my brain was numb from laughing at my extremely witty self and the ideas that were emerging, so honestly, I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. See what I mean?

Well, I have my paper in front of me now and these are the ideas that I could calm myself down long enough to write, before I snorted and began to laugh all over again.

1. Did the man fall in the Loo head first?
2. Was he ambushed by small children?
3. Does he have a mummy fetish?

So what do you think really happened? And come on, admit it! You would've laughed too!


  1. LOLOLOL!! I am sooo laughing too! Not just at the headline, but because I could picture you dissolving into a puddle of spastic laughter, pen hand shaking like you were having a siezure! I'm sure you tried valiently to behave, but, really...with a headline like that, what did they expect? I must say, your guesses were what I was thinking too! Especially the mummy one! LOL! Soooo What was it?? You must tell!!

  2. 4. Did he try to shave his and got hundreds of cuts that he then had to stop up with little bits of toilet paper?

    5. Did he wash his hair and not have a towel and thought that toilet paper would work just fine, but ended up having wet clumps of it in his hair, thus coming to the conclusion that toilet paper can not double as a hair drying device?

    6. Was he in a parade and people were throwing toilet paper confetti out of their windows at him?

    7. Was he playing the bride in that bridal shower game where people have to make a dress and veil out of toilet paper?

    8. Was he attempting to curl his long hair by creating toilet paper curlers? (my exchange student really did this--it works quite well)

    Hmmm, what could it be? And what a great headline. Yes, I imagined perfectly, you breaking down in fits of laughter, you disruptive, child, you. LOL You're right, I would be laughing too.

  3. Haha! Too funny! I am positive I can picture this whole scenario in its exactness too.
    I have not a clue what this could be about...too funny though!

  4. lol! I think I definitely would have laughed. :)

    Sound like you were having one of those moments. Once, my husband and I were being home taught, and one of the guys said something funny and it just set me off. I COULD NOT stop giggling. It was really embarrassing, but I just couldn't control it! Still makes me smile thinking about it.

  5. So funny!! At Nick's school you would have got color changes for your laughing fit! I'm thinking I like #5 mentioned above. Don't know why some dude would have toilet paper all over his head. Would love to know the real reason, so hope you let us know!!

  6. I'd have laughed so hard I woulda had to leave class or been thrown out! :)

  7. The first thing that came to my head was that it was a cold night around Christmas, and the man was wearing a festive elf hat to a party and then walked home, and when he stepped onto his porch the lights were out, and he heard a noise, so he froze to see what it was, and then it turned out to be a bunch of crazy preteens out TeePeeing, so he didn't move and they mistaked him for an enormous lawn gnome and this is the stupidest, longest, run-on sentence in the history of run on sentences.

  8. I'd have snorted with you! Personally, I think the tooth Fairy had a moment of insanity and was trying to muffle his snoring while she visited his toothless offspring...

  9. So which newspaper was this from!? Did you get to find out what had actually happened?
    My guess is some miscreant hiding his identity.

  10. Nikki--HAHAHA! You know me SO well! It's uncanny! LOL! And I will tell, as soon as I can stop laughing long enough to post it. I'll say thi smuch, what actually happened doesn't dissapoint! LOL!

    Kasie-You are so amazingly good at finding valid reasons for why a respectable newspaper would have a headline like that! Why wasn't it you in my class??? LOL! At least then i would've had valid reasons to read out! LOLOL!

    Kimberly--Thanks! LOL! Yeah, it's not really hard to imagine me losing it, is it?? LOL! *sigh* it's a good thing they can all shake their head and go, "Oh! She's an American!" LOL!

  11. Renee--YAY! Another laugher! You make me feel so normal! I LOVE YOU! LOL! And yeah, I've been there on those oh, so embarrassing moments, when you're not supposed to laugh, but do--many, many times. It's scary actually!

    Regina--Well I would've definitely gone from green, to yellow, to orange to red... I'm not kidding then maybe on to black! The worst was when a couple of other people around me looked over at my headline they just smiled. NO one else disolved like me. Grr! To be a Brit and hide one's emtions.. yeah, still working on that! LOL!

    Angie--I was soo debating on kicking myself out. I was! They were all being so quiet! LOL! And as soon as i could control myself, I would take a deep breath and then the teacher would say something else and I'd have to imagine this guy all over again--and yeah, then i was lost. Ugh! LOL! Oh well, hey! Burning calories!

  12. Candi--What in the??? LOL! dont' get me started! I start thinking of my "HOLY LITTLE KNOME STUMP" comment in BFF and I really lose it. I love your idea! LOL! It's awesome! And soo funny!

    Jinksy!--Hi Welcome! hahahah! Oh yeah! That would've been great! LOL! I wish she'd come more often to my house though! LOL! (I would name names but I shall maintain my husband's innocence and keep quiet!--oops!) LOL!

    Kathi--Hi! Welcome! And yes, I did find out! I'll post it as soon as I can! LOL! And It was a local paper, but since I only got the article I'm not sure. Somewhere in Cambridgeshire for sure though! LOLOL! Love your guess! That's awesome!

  13. Oh my goodness, yes it is a small world. I love Angie and her blog as well. I follow her weekly. Isn't it amazing that you know Kimberly "in real life".! Well, now I know someone new and I love your blog as well!

  14. Wow! I can picture you doing that too which makes this whole thing even more funny! Honestly I have no idea what this man was thinking. Hmm...

  15. That's a great headline. What's the headline you brought in?

    Too funny!

  16. woah... I don't even think I could have stayed in my seat. I hope they all got to hear your headline at some point so they could understand your random fits of laughter LOL :D

  17. avtcoach--Hi Welcome! and thank you! I know, I love kimberly. here little sister is caitlin who I'm getting ready to respond to right now! hahah!

    Caitlin--Hhahahah! I guess it's not hard to imagine me losing it! LOL! And I know exactly what you mean about not knowing what the guy was thinking! LOL!

    Lois--you know, I don't even remember what the headline was that i passed on. Itw as something about a couple who love dogs or something.. LOL!

    Jenn--I know a few of them heard the headline, but honestly, i don't remember telling the rest of the class. So I have no idea what they thought of me! LOL!

  18. haha what makes me laugh about the story was that once in third grade I did have to sit out in the hall all day with my three girlfriends because we got the giggles... So... you had better be glad you weren't in the third grade lol because it would have been hall time for SURE.

  19. Hi Jamie! Welcome! I noticed you posted on candice's blog too! You will love her! She's awesome! I've just check out your blog! Congrats on finishing your book!

  20. LAUGHING! good lawd!....and love the colors in this blog! (visiting from Gumbo Writer...)

  21. That is a riot. How about he shaved his head too close? That's funny...your second comment said the same thing.Great minds think alike.(G)

    Morgan Mandel

  22. Kathryn--I LOVE Your name! It's spelling is my verimost favorite for kathryn! And thanks.. LOL! Not that I can take much bredit for it CBOTB make the cutest blog designs, don't they?

    Morgan!--Wow you're good! I'm impressed. really. Where were you when I needed you? LOL!

  23. LOL!!! It would have been sooo hard not to laugh out loud! I would have expected a nice serious one to get into!