Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Her Royal Majesty Miss Kathryn Elizabeth James (Our Dog)


What is it with dogs and the second you all settle down for the evening watching a movie/playing a game/wrestling with the kids, whatever… they slink all stealth like out of whichever room you’re in and create havoc somewhere else in the house? I mean seriously, our practically perfect pure bred princess will be sitting/laying in the same room as you and then wham, she turns into this midnight cloak and dagger chief operations manager and literally disappears without a trace. And how is it possible a overly fluffy medium sized black and silver dog can literally creep past without being noticed by anyone in the family?

“Where’s Kathryn?” you ask your room full of children.
All 6 possible witnesses shrug simultaneously.
“Didn’t anyone see the dog leave?”
They all shake there heads no.
“Well, someone better go find her and see what she’s doing QUICK, or the Herby Fully Loaded is getting turned off.”
All six kids scatter.
And what could my practically perfect pure bred princess be doing that would get me worried you ask?

Well, let’s see… what does a beautiful dog normally do all by herself? Umm… Could it be cleaning her dainty snow colored paws? Or, plumping her naturally fluffy fur? Or, gazing flirtatiously at her gorgeous reflection? Or, taking a much expected cat nap to create the perfect beauty sleep schedule? Uh… yeah, right. OK, the answers to these questions and many more of a similar nature are:
No. No. HECK No! And No.

What my DARLING Princess chooses to do is to proceed to the nearest trash can…

Ok are you sure you really want to know? This is making me gag just trying to write it? Are you sure? Because, if you were quite content going about your everyday life not knowing what positively disgustingly gross thing my sensational dog could possibly think up in her little head to do, then I suggest you go on and continue with your blissful day and DO NOT read further. STOP. Warning, what you may read may shock you. So stop already. Stop now, while you still have a chance! Once you read this, I assure you, you will NEVER be normal again! Alright, alright, I can see you are persistent, but don’t say I didn’t warn you! Now where were we? Ah-ha!

What my DARLING Princess chooses to do is to proceed to the nearest trash can and not topple it over to eat left over meat or scrounge for cookies like a typical dog… No, no, no, not MY princess. She must go for diapers. Yep, the dirtier and (Gag) fuller the better. Destroyed Poopy diapers EVERYWHERE! Yum… Ok (Gag) I have a lot more to say on this subject but (Gag) I’ve gotta go! Eww!

23 comments:

  1. Oh my! That makes me VERY glad that's one thing my pups never did! Gross.

    She is a beauty, though. :) Habits aside ;)

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  2. This is why I have cats. But only six. ;-)

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  3. LOL The minute you said I didn't want to read further, dirty diapers came to mind. I must have a dirty mind. Yuck! Double Yuck! I bet that was fun to clean up.

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  4. Wow, that just made me gag thinking about it. *covers mouth*

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  5. Yeah. Nothing new there. I have 2 dogs. They can be so disgusting with stuff like that. The nastier the better. Then they like to roll in it. They especially loved the horse droppings at the barn when I used to take them. Pristine lovely fluffy white froo-froo dog and regal collie eating horse poo with relish (and I don't mean the pickle kind.)

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  6. I honestly don't know WHY dogs go for that sort of stuff! My dogs used to get into the maxi pads. EWWWWWW.

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  7. Lots of Clorox disinfectant wipes and latex gloves. Two household staples in my home.

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  8. hahaha that is disgusting. Dogs are so gross but you can't help but love them despite your better judgement.

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  9. LMAO My parents' dog used to eat his own poop when he was a puppy. Glad he grew out of that one.

    Lynnette Labelle
    http://lynnettelabelle.blogspot.com

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  10. That is extremely gross. Although I have to say that we had a dog who went for...well, used feminine products. Yeah, GROSS!

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  11. Dogs will eat just about anything. I have had dogs and cats all my life but I would never let a dog lick my face like some do. I have one that likes to clean out the litter box, if you get my drift. Super yuck!

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  12. Which is absolutely why I refuse to have a pet! Ever!

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  13. LOL Your picture of your dog is beautiful but what she does...um --yuck! Good thing I haven't eaten breakfast yet.

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  14. EWWWW!!! I'm so glad my dog doesn't do that!! He does bark a lot though, and that drives me bananas!! So I wonder if your dog also likes to lick faces because, well, that would just add a little extra eww to the story. ;)

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  15. Another 4-legged kidlet in our homes, huh? What a cutie!

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  16. Shanti--LOL! I so wish she never did. And thanks, I love keeshounds!

    Debra--LOL! 6??? And I thought six kids was bad!

    Kasie--LOL! It's so sad when your mind goes straight to dirty diapers.

    Janna--Yeah, double eww!

    Michelle--Yes! Gagging too

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  17. That's why we have the trash can in a closet. A dog that steals my slippers, gloves and hats would have no trouble going into the garbage also. Rascal definitely cannot be trusted.

    Morgan Mandel
    http://morganmandel.blogspot.com

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  18. Lois--eww! Horse droppings??? What is up with dogs anyway?

    Melissa--Eww! Okay, just reading these are making me sick again! LOL!

    Jessie--I HEAR you! Gonna get some now!

    Julie--It's true! We have to love Kathryn anyway.

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  19. Lynette--LOL! Welcome! And erm.. I'm glad he grew out of that too! hahaha!

    Caitlin--Feminine products are soo gross!

    Garnet--the litter box? Seriously? eww. and yeah, no face licking!

    Kathi--Smart, smart woman! Run from them, run far away! LOL!

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  20. terri--sigh, yes she is pretty.. but i know what you mean.. grr... oops I meant Gag.

    Candi--Don't get me started on barking no way.. pet peave. and it always happens just as I'm zoning out for a nap.

    Angie--hahaha!

    Morgan--LOL! Sounds like a great name for him--Rascal! And I may have to look into the garbage in the closet idea.. hmm...

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  21. The more posts I read about dogs, the happier I am to own cats!

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