So, a lot of people look at me--especially less than a month away from the official launch of my first book and think it was a piece of cake--that I was lucky and just happened to have some awesome Karma sprinkles thrown over my head or something....
And yeah, maybe they're right. Maybe I did get lucky sometimes--and things just "happened" that wouldn't have happened to anyone on this amazing road to publication... but you know what?
It hurt. A lot.
And I cried a lot more.
I almost gave up more times than you can imagine.
I kicked and yelled and tore up notebooks and even plopped myself down on the floor and held my legs and just cried. It was impossible to get published. Yet I knew I was meant to be published... I knew it with every fiber of my being I was meant to be an author.
So you know what I did after I threw temper tantrums?
I got back up. Wiped my tears. Got a large cold drink of water and started typing again.
I made myself learn to love revisions.
I made myself learn to love writing a synopsis.
I made myself learn to love rejections.
I made myself learn to shake it off and move on.
But mostly, I made myself learn to believe in me.
Believe in the patience I needed to succeed in this business.
Believe that the money I would receive wasn't everything--it was nothing.
And more important than anything else, I had to believe I would and could break the mold.
I would become a writer.
I worked hours every day on revisions.
I worked hours every day on my new stories too.
I worked hours every day on learning the craft and learning how to do this.
It all paid off.
But it was hard.
And it was long.
And yeah, I cried--and felt it would never be.
But I laughed more than I cried. So I continued. I taught myself how to do this. I wouldn't give up. I didn't give up. And even though I lost some awesome friends along the way--especially when I started succeeding, and even though I lost hours of sleep and time I can never get back... it was all worth it in the end.
I did the impossible.
I succeeded when all I wanted to do was fail.
Do you know for most of the two years since I've been writing... it was spent with just one vehicle for my family? The first year, in England--was with just a five seater car. (We have 6 kids.) Now we have one minivan--an 8 seater. Hopefully by the end of the year we can afford a vehicle that will fit us all (now that the new baby is coming.) If not, we'll get a smaller used car, so at least my hubby can go to work and I won't have to drop him off/pick him up every day. Now that would be awesome! But again, I'm not counting on it. That's something I've learned along this road to publication...
You can't count on anything--anything but yourself.
So don't give up.
Believe in you.'
It will happen.
It'll just hurt a lot to get you there.
But it'll be worth it.